Porky Oinkerton – Biography
- Position: Resident Health and Fitness expert
- Born: Bangladesh, 1980
- Residence: Unknown
- Nationality: Caswian (Canadian Allied Stuffies of the World)
- Alma Mater: McGill University, Montreal, Canada (Same story as Phil’s, but without the dartboard.) Masters Degree in Physical Education.
- Spouses: Jack Rabbit
- Children: 1,368 (all before her marriage to Jack)
- Awards: CNSHAAFHTATBSGOACYAEADHE (Canadian National Stuffie Health Association Award for Having the Audacity to be So Grossly Overweight and Call Yourself an Exercise, Diet & Health Expert) Porky has the honour of being the sole recipient of such an award ever!
- About Porky: Although she is a bit stocky and her voice is rather male-like, Jack Rabbit assures us that she is all female and as agile as someone with her dimensions can be – which is what we thought, too. Ms. Oinkerton has been leading groups (while fooling everyone about her gender) since 1990 when, as a ten year old, her owner neglected her for makeup and her “popular” friends. Porky found herself in a closet with approximately thirty dejected and depressed stuffie animals and humanoids. With her upbeat attitude and passionate spirit, she initiated exercise and yoga classes, and within a month was attracting neighbouring stuffies who snuck in the window to take part in late-night workouts and return to their homes before the owners awoke. (It’s a known fact that Stuffies have been sneaking around neighbourhoods at night since they were first created, but never have so many congregated in the same house for such an extended period of time.