Jimmi Cynic
- Position: CEO of CGttU; Host of show; Majority (sole) shareholder of CGttU Inc.
- Born: Shen Zen, China 1972 (Does not speak Chinese)
- Residence: CGttU Studios (Sleeps on the set [on the sofa])
- Nationality: Usawian (Unwanted Stuffie Animals of the World)
- Alma Mater: Gund University (Graduated Suma Cum Laude)
- Spouses: Mary (Cabbage Patch Doll) 1988 -1994
- Sonia (Beanie Baby) 1994 – 2006
- Wan Quang (Generic Brand) 2006 – 2011
- Children: 374 (What else have stuffies got to do at night?)
- Awards: CNN Newscaster of the Decade (or would have been if such a thing existed) Stuffie Pulitzer Prize for ability to make shit up that is so incredible and impossible to believe – and then get people to believe it.
- About Jimmi: Jimmi Cynic worked his way up from a child labour factory to become the best-known voice in Stuffie current events. He has worked tirelessly with non-profit organizations such as the Foundation for Plastic Surgery for Cabbage Patch Dolls; the “Free the Neo Pets” Institution, and the “End Star Wars Now” Society. Retiring from this work (when he realised what the term, “non-profit” actually meant), Jimmi founded the “Cynic’s Guide to the Universe” News and Social Commentary Channel, with the sole purpose of attracting Google advertising. Oh yeah, and helping stuffies find a better way of life yada, yada, yada.
